Sometimes I have a hard time expressing myself in the right way(s). This comes out differently in various situations:
- Not keeping my frustration in check when calling up customer service, especially with technical/computer issues. (I’m sure some have wanted to tell me to “shut up and reboot” – or just “shut up.”)
- Not gracefully accepting help when playing games on my computer. (Ooh – put the black 7 on the red 8.)
- Not responding truthfully when someone asks “How are you doing?”
One way I try to handle this challenge is to think through the potential conversation in advance, so that I can choose words that convey what I mean, without using trigger words that set people off (“You always/never,” “Why don’t you,” etc.). My problem is, I often don’t get the conversation out of my head. I try out alternatives to find the best words. When nothing seems to be quite right, I move on to a different task. Rather than address the situation, I just let it fizzle out inside of me. Maybe this is how I am now “stuffing” my feelings, although I thought I was past that.
I want to be real, to be authentic. I want to be able to share my thoughts and feelings with the people in my life. Please allow me a little time to put my thoughts into words, and grant me a little grace as I try to communicate them.
